Top 10 Reasons Loreena Bobbit Should be President

1. She could be the first woman president.
   
2. Has unique way of dealing with out of line congressmen and senators.
   
3. Would have big emotional advantage negotiating with male heads of state of foriegn powers.
   
4. "First Man Knocks the Pres Around" would make great story for Weekly World News or the Star.
   
5. If she was acquitted in this trial, she should be able to get away with murder in the White House.
   
6. If she get's out of line, we could rename it The Red House.
   
7. Could include clause in Health Care package to not include severed organ reattatchment.
   
8. People would take her seriously when she says she's tough on violent crime offenders.
   
9. Better than any candidate the Republicans or Democrats have to offer.
   
10. Has shown her self capable of cutting the budget deficit.

been up since 3:30am.. been at work since 5am.

and now i'm crashing..

me: dude.. i feel so much love in my heart today.. its rainy and cloudy outside.. but there's this sort of warm sun-shiny feeling in my heart.. and i feel this peace and joy and i just want to hug everybody! LOL i must be out of my mind

he: wtf is wrong with you

me: i dont know heh

he: do you want me to kick some sense back into you?

he: cuz i will

me: i'm doing my work.. and i've completed so much shit already

he: its cuz yer hot shit

me: you kick my ass.. and in return.. you get a BIG bear hug from me

he: lol

he: wtf is your problem!

me: hey.. i'm just having a GREAT day.. smiles are in the air.. and so is spring

he: dude

he: im gonna hit you

he: you are too happy

he: !@#$!@#

on my starbucks coffee cup..

The Way I See IT # 30

The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.

-- Deepak Chopra
Author of The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire and other spiritual guides.

Should Children Witness Childbirth?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The
house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-oldgirl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while hehelped deliver the baby. Very diligently Kathleen did as she was asked. Her mother Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year-old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack his ass again."

in a private yahoo chatroom with some friends:

he: so where is < she >?

me: she's hiding under my skirt!

he: *takes handycam and getz under foolmaker's skirt too*

me: dont disturb rey.. she's eating!

me: i cant believe i just said that
me: shit
me: pardon me
me: i'm outta my mind.. i'm sick
me: half my brains came out through my nose.. in all those sneezes

he: lol i cant believe u said that
he: was in a state of shock for a sec
he: then i burst out laughin and readjusted my handcam

i am sick as a dog.

i have the flu.. chills, fever, cold, sneezes, sore throat, and the works.

and yet i am at work. cuz i know people wont believe me when i say i'm sick. all the hard work goes unnoticed.. but dont come for a day or come an hour late and everyone notices.

bullshit.