a friend wrote this - and its hilarious!

"fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African American brother"


its funny how frail i really am.

one moment, i feel fine. all full of hope and happiness! the next, everything is all awry.

one stray thought, one sudden development, pulls the rug of confidence away from my under my feet.

i've had some crazy/intense ups and downs lately. and i'm sure more lie in store!

what am i to do?



i'm at work and get a call from M asking me when i'll be able to leave work. my reply - looks like never!. and he says he's on his way to my office.

half hour later, he walks in.. with a starbux chai latte (extra chai)!

blessed be his soul!

how have i lived so far without so much love and affection and caring? well, as long as i'm happy now!

i really didn't know what i was missing :)

on my starbux cup:

The Way I See It #76

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

--Anne Morriss
Starbucks customer from New York City. She describes herself as an "organization builder, restless American citizen, optimist.

yes, commitment is definitely liberating! especially when the commitment involves a lot of love, joy, laughter, banal arguments and some more love, random hugs and kisses.

current mood: blah/whatever/tired.


Moore's law applied to razor blades!


Monday, 27th March 2006

(Aug 24 - Sep 23)
If you live to be a hundred you will have spent thirty-three years asleep. More if you are fond of early nights; less if you suffer from insomnia. Mind you, there are some who say that longevity is dependent upon rest in sufficient quantity, so perhaps the latter does not apply. Sleep is important to us all. So too is happiness. And, er... how many years' worth of that have you had so far? Quick! Grab some today while you can - because, despite your fears and your concerns, happiness IS now available.

this is hilarious! i was just complaining yesterday that if i don't sleep some more, i'm going to die!

i sleep about 3-4 hours a night.


have faith.
have courage.
have vision.
have integrity.
have compassion.
have discrimination.
have patience.

have I missed anything?

he: so - where are your sensitive spots?!

me: babe, that's for you to figure out and me to enjoy!

he: Lord! you will make me work, won't you?


my ear infection is killing me. i've got a high fever. maybe i should go home and rest.

left work late again last night. nothing new about that, eh?



quiet weekend

a much needed one.

was in delaware - at mom's place - while she was out road-trip-ing in columbus, ohio!

[of all the damned places she and her friends could've gone :)]

watched movies. slept. ate. slept. watched movies. read jean paul sartre. drank a whole bottle of wine. watched movies. played on swings, jungle gym, slide. slept.

i'm sorry it had to end :(

reality always ends up biting me in the ass.


"The age of a person doesn't mean a thing. The best music is played on the oldest violins."

-- Jesse Andrews

holi at dorrian’s

March 15th, 2006

so I had a long day at work. And I was on my way back from the office at around 10pm. M/Maddy/Sunil call up every couple of minutes to find out where I am. Stressed/frustrated/tired/irritated as I am, I keep yelling – telling them I’m on my way.

The last call:

M: where exactly are you?

me: 2 blocks away from home.

M: Can you stop by Dorrian’s? we’ll have one beer to celebrate Holi and then we can leave.

me: Umm.. I'm not sure. I’m really really tired and I have to wake up early tomorrow :(

M: Oh come on! Just one beer!

me: Ok fine. You don’t have to twist my arm.

M: Ok see you there then.

So I pay the cabbie and walk towards the double doors of Dorrian’s. and I enter through the first door.. as I was about to open the second, I see M, Sunil, Maddy, and a bunch of Irish and American guys with Holi colors on their faces, waiting to drench me in colored water.

I turned and ran back on the street. So many guys chasing me around the block. Finally they got hold of me and started drenching me in colored water, rubbed gulal on my face, clothes (don’t ask how, but I have this triangle of color from my cleavage to my navel!). Passersby, from the surrounding corporate offices, were stopping to see if i was in trouble.. or if we were just a bunch of crazy American/Indian/Irish people having some fun. Well they had to stop! cuz I was screaming on the top of my lungs, rolling around on the sidewalk, acting like I was possessed or something!

ok so I look like a green alien now.

I walk into Dorrian’s and everybody’s so damned happy to see me. My roomie’s all drunk and looks like a colorful monkey. There’s color on the beautiful wood floors of Dorrian’s. Even the bartender, Jolene, has gulal on her face. The Irish people were all game for the colors of Holi.

Now here’s the thing: I leave my bag, and my jacket, on a chair. Walk over to Sunil.. and

me: Yo S, I need a beer.

Sunil: drink all the beer you want, babe! Our beers are on the house!

me: what do you mean on the house?! What do you mean our beers?

Sunil: Maddy, M, you and I are getting beers on the house. Cuz we’re we! And we’re the best!

Whoa! That’s something now, eh?

So I grab me a beer.. and there’s awesome music.. some dance.. more color on people who walk in. Indian women all acting shy and prissy or whatever.

3 of them. I ask one to dance.. and my guy friends surround us. And she’s kinda like spreading her legs and dancing down.. and the moment she does that, there’s this foul smell that starts emanating!

I mouth this to Sunil: “OMG! Did she just fart?!”

Oh god! She ran from there back to her friends haha.

More color, more happy faces, more drunk Irish, American and Indian people. It was a fun night. I needed it.

I had to wake up early the next day.. so I went home.



//craziness at work//

was on a conference call from 2am to 4:30am this morning. stupid shit was supposed to start at 1:15am and end at 2am.

gaaah. i want to yell scream bitch moan cry

but i have no energy.

and to top it off, a fuckin' ear infection.

that's it. i'm done.



interesting word.
a conundrum for a bisexual.

each moment of my life is a gift

but this moment is the most valuable gift of all. as it is the only moment that lies before me.


this is a world of infinite possibilities.

and i’m capable of doing almost anything at any time! nothing will stop me from being wildly inconsistent and gloriously unpredictable.

but sometimes the notion of freedom is frightening.


that's Copper. CEO's dog. she usually sits by my desk everyday. she really wants to go and play outside in the snow this afternoon.. but i'm too busy right now to take her outside :( she kills me with those sad eyes. now she's sitting under my desk and sulking. poor baby! i love you!

accident on broadway (between prince and spring) this morning! this is right outside my office! the bus rammed the delivery truck from behind and it veered right into the scaffolding by cafe duke! you can see more pics here


prayer for Lent:

O God, whose glory it is always to have mercy: Be gracious to all who have gone astray from your ways, and bring them again with penitent hearts and steadfast faith to embrace and hold fast the unchangeable truth of your Word, Jesus Christ your Son; who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

-Genesis 3:19

yesterday was crazy. i completely forgot it was Ash Wednesday!

i was so busy with work.. around 5:30pm, when i was walking by C's desk, i saw ash on her forehead and started freaking out.

freaking out involved a lot of mental slapping, self-ass-kicking, etc.

drank half a bottle of water.
calmed down.
checked timings at Trinity Church.
realized last mass was at 6pm.
its 5:40pm already.
closed down comp.
rushed to find a cab.
text messaged boss from cab.
reached on time!




is hilarious!

mm mmm good!

cold night.. near my house. downtown manhattan looks very pretty from here.

Evan's single and ready to mingle! who wants a piece of him :)

suraj acting like the gas station worker! i gave him a tip - $0.50 LOL

skating rink in vail.

view from my hotel room in vail.

i miss vail.