will this day ever end?

everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

American Idol is finally over!

Jordin Sparks wins!

wasn't her dad a former NY Giant?

extremes are attractive.

i'm a creature of passion. i like intense experiences. there's something very dull about commonsense. even when i try to restrain myself, a part of me rebels. the further i err on the side of safety, the more i end up yearning to take a walk on the wild side.

maybe i'm being wiser in deliberately courting adventure. i'm letting steam out of a pressure cooker that might otherwise explode.

hey! anything's better than paying for fuckin' therapy.

how can

something which seems so right, when i'm in one frame of mind, seem so wildly inappropriate when i'm in another?

revisiting my past:

as the spring flowers started to bloom
and my heart was filled with newfound dreams

he cast me away.

and this time doesn't disappear.
its right there.
reminding me of cruel reality.

and this year
pierces my distant broken heart
with words.
mere words
of consolation.

do you remember
what your eyes held?
my heart through my eyes.

i remember that
smile
so amazed.
so curious.

i am pinch-ingly present
in that former world

and
what am i left with?
a distance personified by forever

but this time will not disappear.

and it will make me take a ghost to bed
every single night.

the first night we met i trusted you with my instinct

and
last night i trusted you beyond question.

isn't that what you said?

dear blog,

i fell in pee yesterday.

when i feel

as if nothing in this world makes sense, there's only one thing i can do: nothing.

it's the only thing that makes sense.

i risk therefore i am

these words are from an ad i saw on the subway this morning.

we don't let

the rays of sunshine warm our world or our hearts.

what is the difference between an uneducated fool and an idiot with a master's degree?

self awareness.