a legend i mourn for.

12 hours of sleep (and i'm supposed to be an insomniac!) i guess those tylenol pm pills really worked this time around. washed it down with a few jd's and i slept like a log :)

had dinner here with this lovely lady.

thanks jen for the wonderful evening.. and for being you. you're beautiful.

one of these devil incarnates is going to be mine soon!

one
two
three

i love my new cell phone. and it cost me $0.0.

why do men wear ties and women smart, two-piece suits? because, they hope, it gives them an air of authority. maybe they figure that, if they look businesslike, as if they know what they are doing, everyone will assume that they have power and control. but the joke is, up to a point, it works. we're so easily led by superficial appearance that we will speak respectfully to almost any blithering idiot, as long as their shoes are clean and their clothes well-ironed.

The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.

just got back from chicago. all i can say about the drive back is it was LONG! what with all that construction going on in Pennsylvania! took me 11.30 hours to get there.. and 14.15 hours to get back.

tired eyes.. sore muscles.. end of me.

as harris said about us:

at the end of our lives our tombstones will probably read, "and they lived their lives like suitcases caught on a conveyor belt"

barely back from london and now i'm off to chicago - a 12 hour 42 minute drive!

aaargh. its going to be a long, lonely drive.

do you ever get the feeling that no matter what you do, its not good enough? certain people have an amazing tendency to make us feel that way. its easy to tell from the tone of their voice or from a look in their eye that you've failed to live up to their standards. really. that ought to be their problem.. not mine. i have a right to say, "i don't want to be made to feel like this." but what am i supposed to do when the hard taskmaster is a little closer to home? what am i supposed to do when i see my critic every time i look into the mirror?

friday the thirteenth. lucky or unlucky?

i'm off to jolly old england for a week. should be back by next wednesday (hopefully). knowing me, i might just about have an extended vacation :)

there are experts all around. i only have to pick up the paper or turn on the TV. often i don't need to make make even that much effort. i can hear voices of consummate confidence just by listening to the friends who have an opinion about everything or the family members who know it all. how lucky i am to be surrounded by such clever characters. and what about me? am i an expert too? do i know a thing or two? does my own experience count for anything?

one of the best rallies i've ever been to.

more pictures from the crazy weekend to be posted soon. i promise :)

off to a car rally for the weekend. workin' in pit stops can be exciting.. especially with women clad in sexy bikini tops and leather pants (just kidding).

see ya on monday.

An Outcast.., yea your there you go places with
people.. but you are always in your own little
world.

me: life seems to enjoy knocking me around.

he: doesn't mean you isolate yourself from any chance of pain.

umbilical shreds.

it’s funny how certain scenarios crop up time and time again. no matter where i go or what i do, i find myself experiencing the same old needs. i get hungry for food, love or excitement. and i definitely require reassurance about money, love or health. i grow desperate for sleep, love or support. some items crop up on every list! will there ever come a day when i'll be able satisfy every need?

maybe not.

a new addition to my daily reads: mallory

why is it the one person i'm most comfortable around is so far away. then again i know as certain as the sun rises in the east, that some things are best the way they are.

i have nothing better to do.

random guy: hi how r u

foolmaker: i don't exist.

random guy: hmmm wht r u saying

foolmaker: you wouldn't understand.

random guy: nopssss me aint understand can u tell me again wht ur saying

foolmaker: my explanations would be wasted on you.

random guy: no noo i will understand it noww plz explain it to me one time more na

foolmaker: what's there to explain?

random guy: tht i haved to u tht how r u n i dont know wht u r saying

foolmaker: so you don't understand what i say. accept that and move on.

random guy: ohhhhh so u aint teach me haan

foolmaker: must i teach you english?

random guy: teach me english plz

foolmaker: or must i teach you to think out of the box?

foolmaker: i could teach you english.. but that wouldn't make any difference

random guy: y y

foolmaker: because its all about how you think. all the different aspects you can visualize. its all about being able to think out of the box.. and that no one can teach you. either you can think out of the box or you can't. as simple.

random guy: ohhhhhhh u r english is soo gud me cannot reach to ur english never n ever

----------------

aarrrrrghhhh. what was i thinking? well, i could blame it on the splitting migraine i have. and i could blame it on boredom. but i spewed nasty words to an idiot who didn't understand. thus, i'm the bigger idiot.

where's harris when i need him?

i can (soon) walk on walls too!

and there was.. wisdom!

me: some things in this world go on forever - like trouble. there will always be trouble. i try to avoid it and i try to resolve it. then there are times when i'm successful. still though, somehow, trouble reproduces itself. reminds me of a single cell amoeba! criticism is another seemingly self-replenishing substance. court it or ignore it. its never absent from my world for long.

he: but there'll always be one thing even more powerful and accessible - wisdom.