5.06.2002


a friend once said:

you do not seek power.. because you do not need to. power finds its way to you.

now i wonder how true is it. i don't really want the gross kind of power that many people associate this world with.. but the far subtle and effective sort that can easily pass unnoticed by the untrained eye. i'm not interested in ruling the world, for i know this is simply an impossibility. this world is far too big to rule and those who imagine otherwise are deluded. i do desire control.. but i guess i'm smart enough to realise that the only way to achieve power over the macrocosm is to become an expert at manipulating the microcosm. it is from this that my fascination with detail stems. detail, though, only interests me because it represents a route to power. i am only interested in the practical. but looks like i'm being swamped with realistic routes to power.

aarrgghh. reality bites hard in the ass!

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