9.27.2001


the whole night could have been spent in physical proximity and the exchange of superflous words too bad you are not here since life is meaningless and death is inevitable but is anyone up for some vicarious living i think not and yes i think not because my heart belongs in domremy though i have changed since the thoughts left me i am feeling humbled a little lost a little quiet peering out of an uncurtained window i have been preparing for a battle with my emotions my past i walked a thousand miles wept till the outer worlds were flooded i will wait till an eternity but i am a fool to believe i have anything you need somewhere deep inside me are thoughts i want you to know feelings i want to express share my parallel universes but no words to speak no heart to feel no eyes to see all i have is a mouth that can spew venom and that is not how i want to live my life will my soul ever learn even after many hurts swollen eyes dark circles greet the mirror every morning a tear tries to wash away the dark does not succeed a heart that seems too far away to reciprocate to even a mysterious seduction and no it is not stoic neither is it surrounded by dark spaces where screams are black-holed does it still have faith on this empty idea i know not you have me caught in desire for a verbal existence with and without any meaning yearn mourn palpitate breathe scream weep for whom

i know not.

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