as the morning unfurled
i stood by the window
peeking out
afraid someone might notice me

i wanted to be alone
all alone

sometimes i want that
and i like it too

to be alone

i saw this little sparrow swoop by
had a worm in his mouth
a baby was waiting somewhere

i saw the nest
the mother waiting with the child

a knot in my throat
i could hardly talk
a tear rolled down my cheek

a family.

will i have one too?
a question i asked myself often
an answer that i most often heard
maybe not
maybe never

i wanted a tempered life
tempered to my needs
i wanted an aura
that would protect me
i wanted to be looked after
i wanted to fly

i wanted to be loved
and i wanted to love

in the end, it all comes down to "i"

a sad serendipity

and this morning did unfurl
and it did turn to noon
it embarked on a journey
to greet the starry night

and how do i feel at the end?

i knew the end was near
an end to my dreams
and the joys that would fill my heart forever

an end to the happiness
that would make me quake from the shock

and now i live
oxymoron

i faced the end
and then i live

a life that was never meant to be.