rain drops and dance
strange kind of romance
i dont know what to cry about
but i'm feeling fine..

i sit.
watch the rythm
and the madness
to the method.

and i get bored.
of reality.
of living.

escapism.
not my style.

i figured something out today.
i had sensed it earlier..
but today. today was special.
it finally dawned upon my stupid brain
that i MUST leave others alone.
friends
family
um.

i have an extremely complicated life. and to try and not stress out over this fact, i have to do certain things. to survive, i have to say certain things. to get through till june, 2002, i have to live a certain way. don't ask why. i just have to do it.

and i have no right to complicate not only my life, but the life of others too. i still love and care for my family and the few friends i do have.. but i seriously have no business complicating their lives.
so.
back to the drawing board.
redesigning my entire way of living.
rethinking a completely different philosophy.

and i think i'd be able to manage.

of course. i have a new life's resolution: no complaining.


x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

on a different note, i saw the room in that huge house close to school.
it is more than what i had expected.
especially for $420 a month.
its a beauty.
but you know my luck, right?
and if i know it too..
i will not get it.

sigh.
not much i can do about it.

never do my dreams come true.
i guess that's why they're dreams.