Tuesday, 30th October 2001
Virgo (Aug 24 - Sep 23)

As a cautious Virgo you are always inclined to feel apprehensive when you encounter a large amount of optimism or enthusiasm. It immediately makes you feel that you can smell a rat and thus the only thing it makes you inspired to do is to set a rat-trap. I wish that I could offer your sense of pessimism something more reassuring, but I remain obliged to honour my duty as a reporter of important portents. Your current outlook is exemplary. I can see no reason why anything should go wrong. I am sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable.

yeah right.
when everything is haywire
this guy says "Your current outlook is exemplary. I can see no reason why anything should go wrong."