ok so a lot has happened over the weekend.

i'll start with the good:

Friday, October 19th, 2001:
met up with MW
and that was probably the best thing i could ask for.

he made me laugh.
he made me smile.
and he noticed my eyes!

eyes?

well, i dont like being down or depressed.
and i try and find ways of cheering me up
as no one else will try and cheer me up
so i go and buy me some pretty Turquoise Colorblends

and all people say is
"you look different"
huh?
one thing's for sure..
they can't take their eyes
off my face
:)

i felt it too
i felt different
not necessarily good different
not bad either
just different

i look shrewd
street smart
cunning
in my
colorblends.

normally i look
trustworthy
and there's that
tinge of innocence too.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

now the bad

Saturday, October 2oth, 2001:
10 am already!
and the doctor is in.
she said, "be here before 1pm, sweety"
that nice doctor.

so ma and i are cruising along
in my pretty passat
and there comes this red light
i stop.

a black honda passport in front of me
at a distance of about 3 feet.
another box-ish car behind me
at a distance of about 2 feet.

my tummy growls
and i make plans
i turn towards ma

"lets go to dunkin donuts"

mmmmm.
everything bagel with veggie cream cheese.
mmmmmmmmmm.

i'm still thinking this..
and i notice this side street
small
and one way
well, towards me.

i'm still thinking this..
and i see this huge tow truck
speeding on a street
where he shouldn't be

i'm still thinking this..
and i notice a violation
this tow truck's not stopping at the stop sign
and he's coming towards me!

HE' S COMING TOWARDS ME!

< j a w d r o p >
< c o m m e r c i a l b r e a k >

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

< b a c k a f t e r t h e b r e a k >

the next thing i know
i freeze every single muscle
in my body
to brace an impact
that i see hurtling towards me

BOOM (banging into the SUV)
BHISKAAW (tearing apart my pretty passat)
BANG (hubcap and front bumper tearing away from the body.. and hurtling on the road)
and
VAROOOMM (the tow truck taking off!)

the first words that come to mind:

THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!
THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
THAT FUCKING CRACKHEADED BALL!
THAT FUCKING DRUNKEN PIECE OF TRASH!

he actually hit the SUV in front of me
and he ACTUALLY hit my pretty passat!

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

anyways.
i had to be calm.
i had to be strong.
ma was on the verge of tears.
and there's no way i'd show i was weak.

i'm a control freak.

i see the SUV chase the tow truck
and i hear people yell in the background
"don't move. stay as you are. you're worse hit.
the cops should know the exact position of your car
so DON"T MOVE!"

i got out of the car
i registered his licence plate number in my brain
and i called 9-1-1

i told ma to sit in the car
and i looked straight into her eyes and said
"don't worry. trust me".
i had no fucking clue what i was saying
but i knew i was saying something.
it made me feel better.

i see the tow truck stop
about two blocks from ground zero.
i see him stop
and the SUV too.

this guy from the audience
(we've collected a great big audience by now)
hands me a piece of facial tissue
with the name of the tow truck company.
and all i could mutter was
a half-swallowed thanks.
i meant it though.

sirens, i hear
cops
ambulance
cops

cop: "what happened?"
me: "two of us were hit buy a tow truck..he took off.. that way"
cop: "stay where you are"

emt-1: "are you ok, ma'am"
emt-2: "are you hurt.. is anyone hurt?"
( and all stupid me could think of was.. oooh. emt-2 is cute)

me: "uh.. yeah i'm ok.. my ma's in the car.. she's shaken up"
emt-2: " i'm going to carry all the pieces of your car and bring it onto the sidewalk"
(he inspects all the pieces.. and says "this is garbage... you might as well throw it all away")

my heart crumbled to a million pieces.

cop is back.

cop: "we have to move your car out of harm's way... ma'am do you think you could move your car?"
me: "umm.. i don't think i can drive right now.. i feel a bit weak in the knees"
(oh shit! signs of weakness.. I AM SHOWING SIGNS OF WEAKNESS!.. oh no oh no.. this can't be happening to me!)

emt-2: "i'll move the car for you"
(umm.. ok cutie.. i'll just follow you blindly)
:-p

cop does the whole routine.. i tell him everything..

cop: "well, his excuse is his brakes don't work too well.."
me: ' OH YEAH?! how the fuck does he then stop two blocks away?"

WTF?!
he was too DRUNK!
and he looked PSYCHO too.

i finish the whole routine
exchange address
phone numbers
insurance info
police reports
etc
etc

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

and all i wanted was someone to be there besides me.
to support me.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

< b a c k a f t e r a m u c h n e e d e d e m o t i o n s - s o r t i n g b r e a k >

back to reality.
so i have to take the car for an appriasal tomorrow.
and i have to do a thorough research on the insurance details.
and all the things i'm entitled to.

many people say i must pursue a case.
i'm not sure.

i've never had to deal with insurance and accidents and lawyers before.
and i'm completely lost. :(

any ideas/suggestions?