me: want to hear something funny?

he: go ahead

me: so my friends and i were sitting around on saturday evening prepping for dinner and we were discussing maturity levels among men and women the same age and one friend says "men age like fine wine.. women age like vegetables!"

he: ok that depends upon the woman

me: hehe

he: I'd bang Marg Helgenberger

he: OK - what older men would you nail? I'll figure some older women to nail

me: i'd nail pierce brosnan

he: He's not old

me: PUHLEEZE! he's old

me: robert redford, frank sinatra, anthony hopkins,

he: OK redford's old - he has bad skin

me: so he's still got charm

he: he wrinkled like a prune when he hit 50

he: Let's see - Jessica Tandy won't work because her teeth would keep slipping out, and she's dead anyway

he: If I said Winona Ryder and you called her an older woman I'd go berzerk - she's the same age as me

me: i'd bang winona too! she's HOT!

he: I'd give my left testicle for one hot night with her - but I'd have to sweep the apartment afterwards to make sure she didn't take anything

me: haha

me: wanna hear my curse dialogue i came up with!?!?!?!?!?

he: sure

me:
I'll tie jingle bells around my dick
and fuck your mother so hard
your dad will think
santa's in town!

he: love it!

me: (its kind of a translation from a hindi curse dialogue) its funnier in hindi ?

he: I didn't know there was a hindi santa claus

me: no

me: there's no santa! but i’m trying to equate it to a religious experience

he: ok older women, let me see

he: the world is, the world is as love and life are deep - maybe as his eyes are wide -- name that lyric

he: Can't say Gillian Anderson because she's only 2 years older than me - though she is sort of the nerd sex-kitten

me: heh

he: It's odd, because so many actresses portray women who are older than they are. Like Jill Hennessy - she's hot - and she plays older women - but she's only a year older than me.

me: hmm

he: And that's a maturity thing - because guys come across like punks until they hit 40

he: Women are always very mature from 21 on

he: Women carry confidence much better than men - as a guy I can honestly say that we're just a bunch of little boys scared of the big bad world because we're afraid everyone will find out how small our penises are

me: hahahaha

he: Every morning I wake up and think - today's gonna suck! Then I look down my pants and say - "well it least you're still here"

me: hahahahaha

he: Now, none of this is to say that I approve of the last 20 years of attacking everything male - I mean this continued pussification of the american ethos is killing society

he: Eva LaRue - she's on CSI: Miami - she's older than me. I'd nail her.

he: Emily Procter ain't doin' to great though - her forehead has more wrinkles than my nut sack

he: ok, that was a little graphic

me: eww. tmi