random jokes:

Q: Why do women have two sets of lips?
A: So they can piss and moan!

Q: Why don't witches wear panties?
A: Better grip on the broom.

Q: What do Brooklyn and women in tight jeans have in common?
A: Flatbush.

Q: Why do drunks throw up in the sewer?
A: So homeless people can have breakfast.

Q: Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers?
A: To keep his ankles warm!

Q: How do you get five pounds of meat out of a fly?
A: Unzip It!

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.

Q: How do you know you're in a gay church?
A: Only half of the congregation is kneeling!

Q: How can you tell Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?
A: He's the one with the sesame seed buns!

Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs! Ha!

Q: What do you call lice on a bald man's head?
A: Homeless.

Q: What do you call a pimple on a blonde's butt?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: what's the leading cause of death among lesbians?`
A: hairballs

Susan was standing on a street corner when Bob stopped and said, ''Hey Susan, er, did you know you have a tampon hanging out of your mouth?''
''Oh my God,'' she said, ''what did I do with my cigarette?''

One man says, ''You mean they are still together after all that crap?''
The other man says, ''Who?''
First man says, ''Your butt cheeks!''

Q: How do you know your bartender doesn't like you any more?
A: There is a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary!

Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone?
Answer: No!
Response: Wanna go to a party?

A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The bartender says, ''He isn't here but I can do anything the manger can do for you.'' By this time the lady is running her fingers down his face and into his mouth and is letting him suck on her fingers.
She says, ''You're sure he isn't here?''
The bartender says, ''Yes, I'm very sure.''
The lady says, ''Well, I just wanted to tell him there's no toilet paper or soap in the women's restroom.''


Q: What is grosser than gross?
A: When a midget walks by and says your hair smells nice...

Q: What do Christmas trees and priests have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration!