when life is too quiet, i create a little trouble just to keep things interesting. when life is too noisy, i pine for peace. yet somehow, i never manage to connect the two. i don't want to be reminded of a role that i've played in creating a tense situation. i merely want to know when life will get easier. it will get easier when i've had enough of them being hard. a part of me still struggles to achieve something impossible. another part knows this but seems unable to prevent the attempt.

will i be able to embrace what i truly need if only i let go of all i now feel so determined to cling to?