sometimes, i'm like a back-packer.. wandering around complaning about the amount i have to pay while looking (all the bloody time) for new items to pick up and start carrying. i say to myself, "ah! my load will be so much lighter once i carry this instead of that." but that's never the case of course. it finally dawned on me that there's only one way to reduce this damned burden: put less, not more, in the bag.

i rant. cuz i'm really really tired. and why?

well, i'm a volunteering in school for this international students fall semester orientation. and what do i do?

• help students know the monstrosity of a school they're going to attend.
  
• help them with getting their social security numbers
  
• verify legal status/travel documentation
  
• help register for classes
  
• help cope with the culture change/shock
  
• help make new friends
  
• help get housing (on and off campus)
  
• arrange for picnics and other social events
  
• make them feel welcome
  
• answer even the most obvious of questions
  
• prepare handouts to let them know about rutgers/new brunswick/shopping/transportation/etc
  
• make them aware of all the clubs/activities in school
  

the list is endless.. these were a few of the responsibilities we're assigned. but my main goal is to make them feel welcome. i remember being lost and lonely the first few days in that huge school. too many students.. too many classes.. too many friends to make.. too little support.. too far away from family. just remembering my first semester sends shudders down my spine. and i realized today that all the hard work i put in over the summer preparing for this orientation week is actually paying off. i've actually been able to help 99% of the new students with so many issues.. and it does feel good despite the 14-hour days.. the endless amount of stress and tension.. the fading of vocal chords. it all makes sense. it all comes together.

just being able to help someone makes me feel alive.