...as I lay in bed... all tired and aching.. from the long day, I feel this
...certain excitement... and yet I'm scared.. scared to wake up to a new
...morning...
a morning that might be my last.

...the thought chases me like a hawk... preying.. gliding... looking... (and
...just when I feel I'm safe).. sweeping down upon me... it end's there.

...the thought's massaging... calming my nerves down..
...and yet I feel my heart
...pounding...
...so hard that it's going to burst open my chest...
...the thought
...still caresses my soul and then, strikes at the most opportune time...
...but
...it let me feels the pain - each nerve being strangled.

...I feel the passing time performing sepuku on me... I feel I have to die
...for honor...
...not my own...
...I have to die for nobility?!
...I don't understand...
...but I do...
...and yes the time is stretched...
...I can count the time in between each
...heartbeat... I can feel it coming.. taking me.. my soul.. my honor... my
...life?

...I have to go.