me: i feel like telling someone something i've been feeling since the past few months
he: hit me
me: i dont know what it is... but i've noticed i've been feeling sad about something.. it hurts me like a stab through my heart.. but i cant pinpoint the reason
he: i'll try
me: just that sadness.. so sad that i can almost shut off and cry
he: I do know the feeling, but only you know why.
he: I dont cry anymore.
he: I only weep.
me: hm
me: so i'm not crazy then
me: for sometime i thought i was going crazy
he: nope
me: i guess its just a phase
he: At this age is where you get lot of suicides
he: because folk dont understand themselves
me: i dont
he: you do
he: you just have a lot to clear up while you grow up and the hormones calm down

i dont know a lot of things in life.. but i do know one thing.. i'm not a coward.. and suicide is something i wouldn't contemplate at all. period.

even if that sadness shreds my heart.

he: Im angry, sad, happy, grateful, irritated, wondering, ll -knowing, know-nothing, scared, confident....
he: sound familiar? :-)
me: yes it does
he: oh yah, frustrated too.. in so many wonderful ways :-)
he: The only time life truly sux....
he: is when you lose hope.
he: Otherwise, no matter how bad it gets - you can deal.
me: that's something i can relate to
me: losing all hope of doing things i want to do
me: i think i was kinda giving up on a lot of things
he: Eh. Ive had enough emotional disappointents in my life.. and been the cause of a few.. that Ive learned it all evens out
he: if you follow what you need, you get what you want.


is that true? will i truly get what i want if i follow what i need?

in my case, that's not truly correct.

but hey, what the heck? i'll still smile

:-)