20 whacky excuses for calling in sick:

1. I was sprayed by a skunk.
   
2. I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
   
3. My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
   
4. I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
   
5. I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
   
6. I couldn't find my shoes.
   
7. I hurt myself bowling.
   
8. I was spit on by a venomous snake.
   
9. I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
   
10. A hitman was looking for me.
    
11. My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
    
12. I eloped.
    
13. My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
    
14. My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
    
15. I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
    
16. I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
    
17. I forgot what day of the week it was.
    
18. Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
    
19. A tree fell on my car.
    
20. My monkey died.

what about this excuse: i'm really ill - fever, headache, nausea?

ugh. i'm working from home today. i really wanted to go to work. its my friend AK's birthday. and i always get an icecream cake for everyone's birthday. i wont be able to do it today.

sniff.