i love you, dad.

and i miss you.

its been 23 years and my eyes still light up with hope. there are time when i do cry. then there are times when i laugh and talk to you - share my joy and excitement with you.

but i do know you're around - listening to me.

i feel your hugs when i'm down
i feel you pat my back in times of celebration.

i've tried to be a good daughter. i've tried to take the path of truth and honesty. i've definitely tried to do my best to make you and mom proud.

but i'm human. and i do miss having you around. and i do make mistakes. i just fervently pray that i haven't disappointed you in any way.

people who knew you often look at me and say "you're so pretty. you look very much like your father!"

ha! i crack up often wondering if you were "pretty". heh. sorry dad. unfortunately, i got mom's height. but i'm still dynamite.

and yes, mom says i'm like you in many ways. i party hard.. and i play hard. i was the captain of my high school softball team. and i was the captain of my cricket team. and i love prawns. and i love to race. and i go out of my way to be there for people i don't even know.

sometimes, when mom gets real upset with something i do, she yells, "you're exactly like your dad!" haha.

dad, last year, on my birthday, i went racing in an actual nascar race car (it was a modified chevy monte carlo). and this year, i went skydiving!

it was so beautiful - i cried like a girl. *sniff sniff* i'm sure you're laughing at that, huh huh?! let's wrestle! i'll beat you up, old man!

(just kidding. i still love you).

i've been doing a lot of strength training lately. if you think i'm all girly and slim and soft spoken, you're in for a rude shock, dad.

i'm muscular, fit, athletic. and i wear make up. heh.

i have 4 cats! can you believe that?! ishu and syd and their two kids - miu and ari. you'd love them. after rinky (my samoyed) died, i couldn't get myself to get another pet. but then, mom brought ishu home 3 years ago. she was the best birthday gift i could ever have.

i know i'm talking too much.. enough about me. how're you doing, dad? do you miss mom and i? i wonder if you're happy up there. i'm sure you're not. cuz your lil soccer tiki is out here. but i hope you're smiling. and i hope you know how much i love you. and i always think about you. every day.

you're my hero. my friend, philosopher and guide. and i will always love you.