the whole night could have been spent in physical proximity and the exchange of superflous words.
too bad you are not here.
since life is meaningless
and
death is inevitable.
but is anyone up for some vicarious living?
i think not
and yes,
i think not because my heart belongs in domremy.
though i have changed since the thoughts left me,
i am feeling humbled.
a little lost..
a little quiet..
peering out of an uncurtained window.
i have been preparing for a battle with my emotions..
my past.
i walked a thousand miles
wept till the outer worlds were flooded.
i will wait till an eternity but i am a fool to believe
i have anything you need.
somewhere deep inside me
are thoughts i want you to know..
feelings i want to express..
share my parallel universes..
but no words to speak
no heart to feel
no eyes to see.
all i have is
a mouth that can spew venom
and that is not how i want to live my life.
will my soul ever learn?
even after many hurts
swollen eyes
dark circles
greet the mirror every morning..
a tear tries to wash away the dark.
does not succeed.
a heart that seems
too far away to reciprocate
to even a mysterious seduction
and no it is not stoic.
neither is it surrounded by dark spaces
where screams are black-holed.
does it still have faith on this empty idea?
i know not.
you have me caught in desire
for a verbal existence with
and without any meaning.
yearn
mourn
palpitate
breathe
scream
weep
for whom?

i know not.