THESE ARE ACTUAL HIGH SCHOOL ESSAYS EMPLOYING ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS...

- Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

- The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

- From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes onat 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

- Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

- Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.