i made some sort of a deal, and i even shook hands on it, literally; but i'm not really entering into a contract with another person so much as with my own future. i'm stepping over the line which separates me from my past and sets me on course for something very different, and there are quite a few among my family and friends who are a little nervous about what i am and will be doing. i'm not, though. i've known about this for months. i've seen it, tried it, thought about the consequences, and decided that even with the bad bits it's still what i want to do.