i may not have had the easiest of weekends.. but it has definitely cleared up a lot of things for me.

i know what's going on in my life.. and i now know where i need to head next.

i should do myself a favor and dump the daft idea.. and reduce the amount of stress!

i tend to forget and try and extract blood from stone.. i try and turn back a tide..

gosh. why do i have to try something of an impossible nature? why can't i just be normal and do my routine?

but then again, normal is boring
anything ordinary is boring

people say i should work with what's real and what's possible. (that might not be what most attracts me.. but it might be best for me)..

what would anybody but me know what's best for me?

and plus, do successful people think like that? is that how they realize their dreams?
by working with what's real and possible?

blah!

how dumb!

if successful people didn't think out of the box.. didn't think of parallel universes.. we'd still be in the stone age!

and i want to be successful.

simple.

so i'm going to do what it takes to get there..

i've had enough bullshit about people thinking i'm a dud.. or underestimating my abilities..

they haven't seen what i can do.. and when i start working my life out..

i'll set them all agape!

c'mon i'm not greedy or materialistic in the sense i don't want what's mine and what's yours..

i just want what i deserve. i just want the basics.. and if having certain amenities does make me happy.. who is anyone to point a finger at me and judge me!

don't you just hate hate hate it when someone bitches about you by calling you a materialistic gold digger etc etc etc

give me a break!

i'm working hard. and i'm slogging my ass off to work on getting closer to my dreams.. goals.. if you can't be happy for me.. then fuck off.

atleast i'm not begging.. or warming some guy's sheets to get my success..

i would never do that.. cuz then everything that i had wouldn't be mine to call! it would be that guy's..

nah!

i don't want that..

i want something that i could call my own.. something that i know the value of cuz i worked so hard to get it.

is it wrong to want power, success, some basic goodies for yourself cuz you deserve it?

is it wrong?